I always feel bad when Jaden ask to see Jeremy. He was asking to see him today and a lot lately, it makes me sad to tell him he's not gonna come over. This is the one reason I hate when we dont talk anymore. I cant ask him to come over to see Jaden cuz knowing Jeremy he will make it into something like lets see I'm using Jaden and all the bullshit he has said in the past. It's just sad and really sad that Jeremy doesnt seem to care or hides really well. I mean if he wanted to see Jaden he would, i know neither of us want to see each other but still 4 days a month is pathetic. There's not even a daily phone call. The only other time he sees Jaden is if I ask him to pick him up or me and Jeremy r fucking again and he comes over. Grr this is why u should have a child with someone who actually likes u cuz then u won't become the reason ur child never sees his father.
Now I feel like shit again :(
I feel like a failure that I couldnt keep the love of my life or the father of my child and actually have a family. I fail. boo me.
Anyways guys keep asking me and hitting on me wanting to meet or wanting me to be their girlfriend and I really dont like it. Seriously I'm not as whoreish as everyone thinks. It just bothers me and I dont want to date or sleep around. Then wtf am I suppose to do? be a nun? Fuck that I doubt Jeremy has this problem.
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