sick and tired

wtf is up with Jeremy. First he blocks me from sending him texts, then blocks my screen name, and now unfriends on facebook. I havent talk to him since like like 1 o'clock and nuthin bad was said. He just knows how to make me feel bad for no good reason. I didnt do anything wrong. I can't even talk to him withoout him freaking out twist what I say so I'm the bad guy. Mostly he just assumes shit and gets mad over his own imagination. He says he deletes ppl he doesnt talk to but its bullshit. cuz theres amy,amalia,amber, w/e other stupid nasty bitches who dont give a shit about him and he keeps them. Sigh maybe I should just stop loving him and move on. I hate that I cant even have a nice conv with him about all this. I just miss Jeremy.

Jeremy the love of my life/jerk ex bf

What he said to me last night was the worst thing he has ever said to me. I can't even say it cuz there so much I wouldn't even know where to start. I have never felt so hurt, so betrayed, stupid, pathetic, lonely, unloved, and worthless. He can get mad at me and freak out and block me in 5 minutes now. He treats me shit and I dont even know why anymore. I have no idea what sets him off everytime its so dumb. I can't even talk to him without him telling me he hates me and to fuck off. I try so hard to not get him mad and he always finds a way or an excuse to get mad and ruin everything basicly. I woke up yesterday thinking about going down to Jeremy's work and seeing him. Then i thought he would think im stalking him and tell me to fuck off so I didnt even bother. Though I still wanted to see him so i asked if he wanted to see a movie so we dont have to talk but were still around each other. But he was to upset about these 2 stupid bitches who dont even give a crap about him. I fucking love him so much and he doesnt even believe me. I think that hurts the most. I told him I wanted to get married and be with him forever and he doesnt even care. The only reason I started seeing Fred casually was cuz Jeremy said he never wanted to go out with me again. And now I barely see Fred since I've been seeing more of Jeremy and I dont want to be with anyone else. But, Jeremy doesnt want to be with me and I dont want to move on cuz I love him and wanna be with him. I had hope and after what he said it almost faded away. Jeremy feels like everyone treats him like shit and what that gives him the right to make me feel so low and hate myself for just wanting to talk to him. I tell myself to just get over him, i deserve better that I dont want to be with him. But who am I kidding? of course I want to be with him. I'm just sick of being THAT GIRL, u know what im talking about. The needy ex who can't take a hint, won't leave u alone, and happily finally got rid of. That's how he sees me but thats the last thing I want to be. It's so hard not to talk to him and call him all the time. I already do way to much but I try to keep myself busy so I dont think about him. A lot of the times I think about calling him I call someone else instead. I can't keep doing this. I love him so much but all the love in the world couldnt make him happy. He just doesnt believe me.