I didn't want to blog while me and Fred were broken up cuz I didn't want it to be like when I was with Jeremy and all the crazy emotional things I wrote and how I put my feelings out there to get shut down. When u finally realize that it's over and he doesn't want u back u become so sad and bitter. It's all I think about and when I'm around him all i think about is please be with me. It's sad and lonely.I get it. He treated me like shit enough ignoring me and making no effort to the point where i freaked and broke up with him only to realize it was stupid but to my surprise that was his plan, he didn't wanna look like the bad guy so he acts like an ass until i broke up with him and has no plans to be with me again. Mostly i think he said his reason was Jaden and a bunch of other half ass excuses. He likes other people/person. Calls her babe and she calls him love ugh barf. whatever i've obsess about it enough.
I fall madly in love and they fall out of it.
I've cried so many tears. He just keeps hitting me when I'm down. Has pulled the maybe card for over a month and still makes it so i believe he will come over this time. All I want is to see him and he just said no today like I really don't matter. I didn't know how to stop throwing myself at him cuz I thought maybe this time it will be different but it never is.
Fred=Jeremy
I traded one of another. My life is on repeat. History has spoken. Fred will leave for the summer without being my boyfriend to do god knows what me hating every second of everyday he refuses to be with me and me I guess finding someone new like I know Fred will while he hooks up this summer. Why else tell me to wait until he comes back if u don't want me now while I'm around then ur not gonna want me 3 months later. If u don't wanna be my bf now so what u can be single for the summer to do whoever u want and what think I'm gonna jump at the chance after u fucked around. HA! For all i know I'm just overreacting but how else am I suppose to act when ur madly in love with someone who has no interest in u.
It will take a lot of time and fuck ups before I will bury my feelings for him cuz I can't ever forget him. He feels like a part of me that i want back.
I have hit rock bottom.
Time to pick myself up again.
I have become boy crazy yikes. I knew I loved Fred but I didn't want this to happen. I thought he had it in him to make me happy and instead I got misery. U would think he would take me back so I can become nice and normal and not mean cuz this time I can show love. nope not the case.
UGH i need to shut up about Fred already. He doesn't want me back. He doesn't want me back. He doesn't want me back. He doesn't want me back. He doesn't want me back. He doesn't want me back. He doesn't want me back. He doesn't want me back. He doesn't want me back. He doesn't want me back. sigh. goodbye my lover.I miss when I wasn't a love sick twat!
