Who me?

“You know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul.”


Who am I? 


That's a question everyone asks themselves. How we see ourselves and how other perceive us have always been in my case two different things. I can't say I've never been a certain way that wasn't healthy but I won't honestly say that is me. Adapting a certain way to survive is human nature, but i am not saying I was trying to survive. Me myself have been a number of things that in life wasn't all that praised or that I even liked myself but acted that way out of temptation or just plain naiveté or lack of self esteem. I can't blame everything on those things because it was me who did them or acted that way. 


I'm way too emotional. 


I changed and I want a real chance. Though it seems I'll never get it no matter how much I say I will. Won't stop me from it nor will my feelings change.


You can trust me.



You know what I want.


"If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes."

Can't we just live happily ever after?

"Love knows no reasons, Love knows no lies. Love defies all reasons, Love has no eyes, but Love is not blind, Love sees but doesn't mind."

Some tragedy happens where the woman needs to be saved and the man recused her from evil. I don't see how that can't happen to me. My life is a tragedy; Shakespeare worked his magic on it, where I fell in love just to be left. I don't really think they all ended that way but that's how this tragedy is shaping out to be.

This is No Romeo & Juliet, no Othello, no Midsummer's night dream. This is my life and maybe for once I would like Shakespeare to stop with the this tragedy and just let me find love without taking it away.

A fairytale ending is just that, a fairytale.

"Hatred stirreth up strifes, but love covereth all sins."

My soul is fighting a battle you will never understand

"At the end of the day, it's up to us to choose to focus on what tears us apart or holds us together."

The end has happened and now darkness takes over my heart. You had no faith in my words or me. Crushed my spirit to the the equator of the Earth. Lies were told and promises made to the point i was blinded by love and life. When you took it all away, should I be seeing clearly? 

 Is Love Blinding?

My feelings are still there, visible. I look at the tears running down my face and I know I wasn't faking. 

I did not cheat.

What I say doesn't matter because you will not believe the words my heart speak. To you I am untrue. My being is not trustworthy. My love is not enough or even real. Am i fake?

Do I even exist?

Hurts to know I will not see your face and not hear you speak those three words everyone longs to hear. 

This this goodbye?

I'm afraid not.

"The past is only a story that helps us understand who we are today and who we want to be tomorrow; but never should it be held against us."

Did being angry ever get anyone, anywhere?

"The pathway in life isn't always smooth, u may find obstacles along the way but that don't mean that you must stop and turn around, keep going forward."


Ever since failed relationship with a love that turned sour years ago, I try not to lie. I have slipped up,  ie. February (you can't know) but doesn't mean I can take it. I'm weak in nature and lying too much is something I can't keep up. Being good at lying is not a life goal people strive for but i can't say i don't know people who makes it their life goal.


Trust?


It's a sad day in hell when a love one decides loving you is too much of a bother. I'm unhappy. 


What did being angry ever get anyone, anywhere?


Pink Tacos. 


I am more than just sad, I'm livid. 


I am trustworthy.
Trust me 
I know.


You think this will make you happy? I beg to differ.


"If you don't like something, change it...if you can't change it, change your attitude, don't complain."

Show that coming

Carpe diem sine metu. Latin Proverb meaning "Seize the day without fear."


Life is a truly fucked up thing. You wake up one day and everything is perfect fine and your future set, then slowly it's all taken away from you with two little words.


I thought I had everything but turned out to be empty promises to a promise land i wasn't invited to. My soul is gone, given away to a heartless victim. He swallowed me whole and spat me out and now I'm cold, wet, and alone. 


Why is everyone looking for love?    


I ask myself one thing, why was I so stupid?


Anything worth a damn isn't easy to get; anything easy to get isn't worth a damn.