im just depressed

that title pretty much says it all. I havent felt like writing cuz what is there to write about. my life is boring. I fight with tim and jeremy. Jeremy isnt my boyfriend. Fred isnt my boyfriend cuz of me. tim is mean and i have no money. I have no food in my house bearly. i cant even use my can opener. Jeremy is way behind on his child support and i need to buy pull ups and new clothes for jaden. school sucks. gym makes my legs hurt. and im just in a bad mood and wanna bitch.

boring snow day

no school
no daycare
no going out
no fun
no gym
bearly any food
or
drink
computer
movies
and
Jaden

That's my day

summary of today

I was out all day classes back to back. might drop one or two add some new ones. i was tired hunrgy and my feet hurt. i took the bus to my parents and ate a huge thanksgiving like dinner turkey and all. no gym cuz jeremy needs to save gas. now im home watching things i missed yesterday. the power of online and downloading. Saw The Duchess today.

hate tim

I HATE TIM
I HATE TIM
I HATE TIM
I HATE TIM
I HATE TIM
I HATE TIM
I HATE TIM
I HATE TIM
I HATE TIM
I HATE TIM
I HATE TIM

also not a fan of Jeremy for what happened today. if he doesnt ever wanna be with me then he should know he cant keep doing this.

SUCK IT! Lily style

(Jeremy will probably be mad about this entry cuz of the "personal things" he said that I copied into this entry but im upset and having the worst day so i say fuck it deal with his bullshit tomm. If he even cares)

When I think me and jeremy are getting closer, he says something that just ruins all the good moments we have been having. I hate myself for having feeling for him.  Again that stupid Amber bitch said something that upset me. And I said it to him and not her and he still defends her over me. I fucking cant stand he knows that. he's a jerk. oh well, i will do whatever i please he says. I couldnt even talk to fred without him getting mad today and after he found out fred slept over he got mean. Wouldnt talk and said i was acting like a skank and wouldnt come back over cuz i would just talk to fred.

Shirley is in need of a boyfriend. 1:04pm - Comment - Show Comments (3)

 Kimberly Texidor at 1:26pm January 25

Girl please, you can do bad all by your damm self!!

 Shirley Carmona at 1:30pm January 25

a boyfriend would be nice though

 Timothy Cotton at 5:16pm January 25

omg cry you could have one if you were not so stuck on someone who no longer wants to be one.

 

tim is right sadly. I treat Jeremy like he's my boyfriend and its pointless. Jeremy said and I quote

"at this point
i want to like you more than i actually do
and this is why
you need help
you have issues
and you know it"

so i have issues now. Yea im emotional but thats it. What kind of meds are gonna help me. The get my ex bf to wanna be with me pills? come off it. 

So I start class in 12 hours and I really dont wanna go at all. Its cold and the bus will be packed and I hate waiting. Plus not sure how to get to my class and I hate Umass.

gym

The gym is the devil i tell u. My body is so sore. But i got a membership ship and im not gonna waste 10 bucks a month to never go. Its not bad and I have always gone with Jeremy cuz he also has a membership and he gives rides. yesterday we worked out for 2 hours. I almost died! my legs were like jello seriously.  The place is nice too. Its one big room with different areas. Jeremy told me to do all these leg exercises. I had to use all these leg machines when I could bearly walk as is. Its hard to go everyday cuz of Jaden and now I start school tomm.

crap

My love life isnt going so well. Got in huge fights with all three of my exs, first Jeremy then Tim, now Fred. Its annoying and confusing. can u really be friends with ur exs? cuz two out of three wanna be with me. Though all 3 would be mad if i dated someone else and same goes for me. I dont wanna hurt any of them. But i cant help but do that.