me and Jeremy

So me and Jeremy are gonna try to be friends. And I'm waiting for him to finish up so we can go to the mall. I'm so hungry. It will be weird seeing him. It was weird just hearing his voice today. I really dont want to fight so I'm going to try to deal with how annoying he is. :)

Delete my post

So i have delete my post "why am i still writing about him" from early today. I shouldnt have wrote it. I'm not fucking perfect. Jeremy wrote 3 mean comments to my last 2 entries which of course he deleted. Jeremy just wants me to know the horrible things and how psycho he is but not everyone else. I can just post his god damn comment.

venting now:

I'm not a slut. Only have one guy who I havent had sex with in forever. God i cant even remember the last time i did so saying "Your a good for nothing slut who will never amount to anything and you fucking know it. The only way you can ignore it is by keeping yourself busy with fucking guys."  Which is kind of stupid cuz i've been with 2 guys for almost 2 years him and Fred (which was when we werent together).
(dont bitch at me for the quote i think it was deserved)

And i wouldnt date Fred today i just said that cuz i was pissed off. Dating another guy doesnt make me a slut. Oh i dont remember u saying u wanted to see me i told u i got kicked off and aim froze and i had to use meebo which cut off most of what he said. Ok u may want to see me or wanted to but would u actually see me now?
I want to have a nice day. A good day!

Best Day of My Life

I want today to be the best day of my life. I wish it could happen. I don't need to think about my failed relationship or how i met the love of my life. Yea a guy who wont see me today cuz im such a bitch or w/e. I thought I would be engaged or at least living together at this point. I'm just gonna look on the bright side and make shit happen. maybe I'll even say yes to Fred, why the fuck not Jeremy doesnt ever want me so why am i still using him for a reason? Go out with Fred the same day as Jeremy, dont think i can handle 2 failed relationships on this day. its probably cursed anyways

4 years

Today would of been 4 years for me and Jeremy. It's weird that were not even talking and that he wont even  see me on this day that would of been special. I always dreamed we would get engaged and married on this day. What a load of crap. He doesnt even remember and thats so sad. How he already forgot about me and I'm still here writing about him. Moving on is always hard for me cuz I put my heart and soul in it. It breaks my heart and I feel so empty afterwards. It would be easy if I could cut off all ties but we have Jaden and I need a way to get a hold of him. It's so sad to that he doesnt pick up my calls cuz Jaden would like to talk to him on the phone and I always have to tell him dada didnt pick up or that he's sleeping. It's so awful that he doesnt even care to talk to his own kid or even ask about him or know what he did that day. Jaden gets so excited talking to my parents on the phone and even Tim, i wish he could do the same with Jeremy. God, can't wait until..............

Fred

Sometimes Fred pisses me off. He can be really annoying. Though most guys are and more around their friends. I still havent said yes to Fred about being his girlfriend. I wanted him to ask me just so I wouldnt be just a fuck thing to prove Jeremy wrong and now that he has I have to really think about it. I dont want to make a huge mistake. All Jeremy said was guys only want to fuck me they dont want to be with me. That he's the only one who cares about me and not just my body. What fucking crap! I dont even know anything anymore. Tim says Fred really wants to go out with me and he doesn't want me to say no. Though I can't get what Jeremy said out of my head.

Sigh

Delete

I'm deleting Jeremy.
He doesnt exist.

All i want from him are 57 a week(which he bearly pays cuz of all his bills).  To pick up Jaden after work this friday and when Jaden goes back to daycare to pick him up at daycare on his weekend at 4:30. I wish he would see Jaden more or at least call him but he's a lousy everything and I cant expect anything from him. I wanted to marry him, god what a stupid idea. Don't u hate when u fall in love with the asshole?

ignore me

Jeremy is ignoring me and talking to everyone else but me. I hate when he does it, god hes so predictable sometimes. The pattern never breaks with us. Maybe I should shake things up, it will be a mystery.

Oh Jaden broke my charger for my laptop and I can't afford a new one which is like 80 bucks, so im screwed. I'll have to use my ipod and i think i can post through my email.