iTouch

I just got my new iTouch via FedEx. I'm so excited but it sucks to cuz I just got a bank account and I have to wait to make an iTunes account so I dont have any apps. :(

Im bored

I'm so bored! There no school no daycare and Jaden 24/7 in my house not good. It is so messy theres no way I'm cleaning it to just get even messier tomm. I need to set an appt. for Jaden's daycare. He is the crazy wild child and I'm the laid back parent.

So me and Fred been talking pretty regularly now. I can actually IM him without being scared and waiting hours until I get the courage to. He actually told Tim he wished I didnt still do shit with Jeremy.
He said it makes being with me empty. Ok so Fred likes me. Me and Fred have been hanging out since Jeremy told me he never wanted to be with me again. Though now things have changed with Jeremy. And I dont know what to do about Fred cuz Jeremy still wont go out with me but I have more of a chance now. Now i feel like I'm juggling two guys which i hate doing. But I like hanging with Fred though Tim hates it. He feels like i forget about him when Fred is around. He hates Fred even though Fred basicly lives with him. idk idk

Jeremy is coming shortly so I can play with the Christmas gift I got him ROCK BAND 2!

crazy night

Had christmas part 2 with Jaden at my parents house. Then Jeremy picked up Jaden cuz its his weekend. I went and setup my first checking account. Then went and looked at phones. I want quickfire but there could be a lot of problems. and i dont kno if i could afford it. I hung out with Fred too when we went back to tim's house. Tim doesnt like it so much, but i like hanging with Fred.  me and sandi took some pics
AT&T Quickfire

Christmas

good family time got lots of presents and cash. then saw yes man with tim and fred. Jeremy was being a jerk this morning.  Me and Fred got in a fight. Then had a long talk and god he is just so different and i like being around him. Fred told me that he likes me and it made me happy and sad and worried all at once. Then Jeremy came over and we had a talk about me and Fred and whats going on.

Holiday

Its christmas eve. I wish Jeremy would want to spend the holidays with me. He's taking Jaden after my family finishs with dinner. Then I'm proably sleeping over my parents house. Then I need to spend time with Timmy.

I'm feeling better about me and Jeremy at least for now.

Me and Tim are drifting apart.

Got closer to Fred but these things never last

Men

Fred has been making me feel pretty good lately.  Im in love with Jeremy but still it's nice to hear nice things. Tim has confessed his love for me yet again.  Fred said he is gonna see me today but I kinda really doubt it. He wants to see a movie which is different than only wanting to screw me.  


TIMMY COMES BACK TODAY HOPEFULLY IF THERE ARE NO DELAYS!!!

He will be coming in hopefully around 6-7 then he's coming to see me. I missed him!

The best of both worlds

After reading KIMBOLACITY    last 2 entries I feel alittle better knowing I'm not the only one in this situation but I still feel so alone. I  hate that Jeremy wants us to bearly talk. It makes me feel insecure and jealous. Cuz if he's not talking to me who is he gonna talk to? i know who ugh. I dont want Jeremy to get closer to anyone while he's trying to push me away. I hate the way he's been acting. Trying to hard for everyone else to frickin like him. I hate that he keeps saying he wants someone to kiss on new years eve who of course isnt me cuz he would never see me. I dont want kissing someone else and i dont want him to want to kiss someone else either. He is tryng to be a flirt and it pisses me off. I want things to change and i dont want to stop until were back together. I mean there is so much change and sacarfic that needs to be made for it to work out. I'm willing to do it if he wants to be with me. I dont want to ruin things between us cuz I love him and we have Jaden.  Its so hard to not hold a grudge but im mad that he doesnt want to be with me and i show it and sound it when we talk. And why shouldnt I be jealous I dont want him talking to other chicks so he can sleep with them(Sabrina) or fall in love with them(drag queen Amalia) or want to cheat on me with(Amber) or just be a moron with(Amy). I'm sort of a hypocrite cuz there have been other guys but I never fell in love or was serious with. I told him I was gonna commit to him and I wasnt with other guys until he told me that he never wants to date me again. God and he doesnt even care.