Forever

 "In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever."


You would think by now I would learn that life isn't fair. Guess not, life is but a dream I don't know if I want to wake up from or not. How am I suppose to go through this everyday forever? The littlest thing can set me off and blow a house down like the Wolf. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Probably, but do you know the meaning of them? The questions behind them, the subtext if I might add? 

If I don't know why I do or say things, why am I always expecting everyone else to know for me? Maybe it's something I need and don't know if I'll ever get.

What is forever? Merriam-Webster defines it as: for a limitless time. Limitless. Is this what we are after, a limitless time? That doesn't sound as magical as what I once thought forever was suppose to be. Do you want to live forever? Could you see yourself with someone forever? Why do we crave this forever? 

I'm just full of questions without answers and more questions on top of that. It's just a limitless time of the amount of questions and confusion I could possibly possess.

What do you honestly want from me world? Do I look like I know everything? Need everything? Want everything? Just forever leave me alone.

"The heart is forever inexperienced." 

10 things I hate about you

I hate the way you talk to me,

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car,

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots

and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick,

it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you’re always right,

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you’re not around,

and the fact that you didn’t call.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,

not even close…

not even a little bit…

not even at all.

Sorry

Looking back at me I see that
I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you,
I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by,
Something strong like a drug that gets me high

What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so

Cold to you, I'm sorry about all the lies,
Maybe in a different light,
You can see me stand on my own again
Cause now I can see
You are the antidote that got me by,
Something strong like a drug that got me high

What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

I never meant to be, so cold

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed-up side of me
That I keep locked inside of me so deep,
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me there's just no hope;
I never meant to be so cold

What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am (Is I'm sorry for the way)
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

Only want to be wanted by you

I wanna lie in my bed
And do nothing
I don’t care what anyone says
I got you on my mind
Thinking about one thing
Gonna show you how I do it best

Put my lips on your mouth
Keep you comin around
Cus I like it
Put your hands on my hips
Take me down
Sink this ship
Boy I can’t resist

I wanna wear my hair wild in a mess
Cut off jeans, can you get with that?
Give you something like you’ve never had
Cus I only wanna be wanted by you
I wanna tease you till you’re begging me
And you’re on your knees
And its hard to breathe
And every other time is just a memory
Cus I only wanna be wanted by you

Those other guys when they call
I might answer
But you’re the one I’m thinking bout
So baby don’t disappoint
Just move faster
And show me what you’re feeling now

Put your lips on my mouth
Keep it comin around
Cus I like it
Nothings wrong
It’s so right
Got permission from me tonight
So turn off the lights

I wanna wear my hair wild in a mess
Cut off jeans, can you get with that?
Give you something like you’ve never had
Cus I only wanna be wanted by you
I wanna tease you till you’re begging me
And you’re on your knees
And it’s hard to breathe
And every other time is just a memory
Cus I only wanna be wanted by you

Now I’m going crazy
I’m tired of waiting
My lips are on fire
I just want you to know
I’m losing my patience
For the time that you’ve wasted

Put your lips on my mouth
Put your lips on my mouth
Put your lips on my..

I wanna wear my hair wild in a mess
Cut off jeans, can you get with that?
Give you something like you’ve never had
Cus I only wanna be wanted by you
I wanna tease you till you’re begging me
And you’re on your knees
And it’s hard to breathe
And every other time is just a memory
Cus I only wanna be wanted by you

I wanna wear my hair wild in a mess
Cut off jeans, can you get with that?
Give you something like you’ve never had
Cus I only wanna be wanted by you
I wanna tease you till you’re begging me
And you’re on your knees
And it’s hard to breathe
And every other time is just a memory
Cus I only wanna be wanted by you

Part Of Me

"Part Of Me"

Days like this I want to drive away
Pack my bags and watch your shadow fade
You chewed me up and spit me out
Like I was poison in your mouth
You took my light, you drained me down
But that was then and this is now
Now look at me

[Chorus:]
This is the part of me
That you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no
This is the part of me
That you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no
Throw your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows
But you’re not gonna break my soul
This is the part of me
That you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no

I just wanna throw my phone away
Find out who is really there for me
You ripped me off your love was cheap
Was always tearing at the seams
I fell deep, you let me down
But that was then and this is now
Now look at me

[Chorus]

Now look at me I’m sparkling
A firework, a dancing flame
You won't ever put me out again
I’m glowin’ oh whoa
So you can keep the diamond ring
It don't mean nothing anyway
In fact you can keep everything yeah, yeah
Except for me

[Chorus]

This is the part of me
No
Away from me
No
This is the part of me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me...
No
Throw your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows
But you’re not gonna break my soul
This is the part of me
That you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no

30 things to stop doing to yourself

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Who me?

“You know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul.”


Who am I? 


That's a question everyone asks themselves. How we see ourselves and how other perceive us have always been in my case two different things. I can't say I've never been a certain way that wasn't healthy but I won't honestly say that is me. Adapting a certain way to survive is human nature, but i am not saying I was trying to survive. Me myself have been a number of things that in life wasn't all that praised or that I even liked myself but acted that way out of temptation or just plain naiveté or lack of self esteem. I can't blame everything on those things because it was me who did them or acted that way. 


I'm way too emotional. 


I changed and I want a real chance. Though it seems I'll never get it no matter how much I say I will. Won't stop me from it nor will my feelings change.


You can trust me.



You know what I want.


"If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes."